Astig STATUS!

''gusto kong umutot pero tae lumabas''

"member ka ba ng SMP?

SMP= Samahan ng madudumi ang pusod.."

"Is single and i want you to change this"

Bakit pa kelangang pag.aralan ang history?
diba past is past?

*hinding hindi na ako magsasalita ng english!! NEVER!!

Question of the day:

why is it that Mario can bust through brick walls but dies when he touches a turtle? 

pangarap kong maging single habang buhay..
at gusto kong mkilala ang taong sisira ng pangarap ko.. 

If you love a taken man/woman, half of it is lies, the other half, lust.... It would just ruin your life and your love.....

Ini-ismall ka ba nila. ? ? ? Wag ka mag alala . .Ini-iBIG naman kita..

Biggest lie ever:

“I have read and agree to the terms of use”

---

someone just told me that 'wtf' means 'welcome to facebook'

y o u n e e d s p a c e ?

 

Do u know d meaning of A B C D E F G H.....?_
A boy can do evrything for girls heart... 

Hindi naman magbi-beer house ang mga lalake kung lahat ng babae sumasayaw ng nakahubad......at magaling mag-split. 

Ano mas pipiliin mo, bag ni Dora o bulsa ni Doraemon? 

-Ang KAIBIGAN ay isang mkahulugang salita..dahil..
Paano ang IBIGAN.?...Kung wala KA! 

 dont judge a person by its primary picture.. 


 here is my password ●●●●●●●●●●●● 

To speed up buffering while watching videos, press and hold RIGHT ALT key and then press the F4 key. This will clear your memory cache and will drastically reduce the waiting time.

I LOVE PHOTOS.
and somans, and vevengkas, and falitaws, and safen safens.
yan muna sa ngaun XD 

Aanhin pa ang bato kung
sayo pa lang may tama na ako! 

Bakit si Spiderman, kelangan ng maskara para di makilala pero si Captain Barbell, nag-gel lang, ok na? 

BANAT MESSAGES(part 2)

Girlfriend: Ayaw ko na! I'll return to you
all the things you've given me!
.
.
Boyfriend: Okay then, Let's start with the kisses. :">

Ang pag-ibig ko sa'yo parang TEST PAPER
Nauubos oras ko kakatitig sa'yo, ayan tuloy babagsak na ako.

Pag namatay ako huwag kang pupunta sa burol ko

Dahil baka pag nakita kita, baka tumibok ulit puso ko.

 

Hindi ka naman PERA,

Bakit kapag wala ka.

Naghihirap ako? 

Ang mata ko parang DSLR na nakamanual,

kapag nakikita kasi kita,
blurred na yung iba..

Kung BIKE man tayo.. Handa akong MABANGGA..

Huwag lang tayong mag BREAK!

Banat ng PUSA sa daga:

"kahit kelan, hinding hindi ako mapapagod habulin at hanap hanapin ka,
at pinapangako ko na pag nahuli kita,
hindi na kita pakakawalan pa,
di ko pababayaan na angkinin ka ng iba,
akin ka lang!"


Eto naman banat ng DAGA:

"pakipot man ako Ng maituturing,
pa-hard to get ang acting,
pag ako nakita mo't nahuli,
pangako ko sayo di ka magsisisi,
dahil para sa sarli mong kaligayahan,

Handa aqng harapin si KAMATAYAN!

I love reading the MENU.

because it has ME-N-U

I will write to the stones that I LOVE YOU.
And throw all the stones onto you.
To let you know how it is hurt to love you.

BANAT MESSAGES (part 1)

 

Para kang OATMEAL

why?

COZ YUR GOOD TO MY HEART.

Sana naging kandila ka na lang

Para kapag hinipan kita,

DEAD BALL ka na.

 Pwede ba akong samahan?

SAAN?

Samahan HABANGBUHAY :p

Boy: I did not kiss his girlfriend

I just whispered something in her mouth.

Sana holdaper ka na lang..

ibibigay  ko sa'yo lahat

WAG MO LANG AKONG SAKTAN :D

Ikaw ba ang kadiliman?

Wala na kasi akong nakikitang iba

KAPAG IKAW ANDIYAN KA.

 Virus ka ba?

Kung virus ka man,

di kita hahayaang matanggal

kasi mas nanaisin ko pa masira ang sistema ko kesa

MAWALA KA

 I don't have my number.

CAN I HAVE YOURS? 

 Mahilig ka bang magluto ng pancit canton?

Kasi kapag kasama kita,

feel ko 'LUCKY ME"

Noong minahal kita,

talo mo pa ang traffic sa EDSA.

I CAN'T MOVE ON!

Sa sobrang dami ng cheesy lines ngayon,

wala na akong maisip na iba.

Ikaw na lang nasa isip ko.

BOB ONG QOUTES

“Iba ang walang ginagawa sa gumagawa ng wala”

"Mangarap ka at abutin mo ito. Wag mo sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta o mga lumilipad na ipis.. Kung mey pagkukulang sa'yo ang magulang mo, pwede kang magrebelde.. Tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag-drugs ka, magpakulay ng buhok sa kili-kili.. Sa bandang huli, ikaw din and biktima, rebeldeng walang napatunayan at narating.."

"Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."

"walang taong manhid, Hindi niya lang talaga maintindihan kung ano ang gusto mong iparating kasi ayaw mo siyang diretsuhin"

" papano ka magiging importante sa isang tao kung ang ginagawa niya sa'yo ay ginagawa sa ibang tao"

"kapag libog ang pinairal sira ang pag aaral"

“Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..”

“Pag may mahal ka at ayaw sayo, hayaan mo. Malay mo sa mga susunod na araw ayaw mo na din sa kanya, naunahan ka lang.”

“Hindi porke’t madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.”

“Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo.”

“Ang pag-ibig parang imburnal…nakakatakot mahulog…at kapag nahulog ka, it’s either by accident or talagang tanga ka..”

"kahit ikaw ay parang bato na manhid at walang pakiramdam, mag ingat-ingat ka naman... Dahil kahit ganyan ka, hindi nasasaktan... Kaya mo namang makasakit."

"Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal.. Yun nga lang, hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon."

"Gamitin ang puso para alagaan ang taong malapit sayo. Gamitin ang utak para alagaan ang sarili mo."

"Hikayatin mo lahat ng kakilala mo na magkaroon ng kahit isa man lang paboritong libro sa buhay nila. Dahil wala nang mas kawawa pa sa mga taong literado pero hindi nagbabasa."

"hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan na ito. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan. "

"Masama akong tao, tulad mo, sa parehong paraan na mabuti kang tao, tulad ko."

"Mas mabuting mabigo sa paggawa ng isang bagay kesa magtagumpay sa paggawa ng wala."

"iba ang informal gramar sa mali!!!"

"Para san ba ang cellphone na may camera? Kung kailangan sa buhay un, dapat matagal na kong patay."

"Papaan0 ko mapapasaya ang taong mahal ko na ang kaligayahn nya ay ang kalungkutan k0h! Papan0?"

"wag kang mag seryoso sa taong hindi naman interesado sayo
kasi para ka lang nagpagod maperfect ang isang exam
na hindi naman pala recorded"

"may utak naman ako, pero pinili kong maging bobo.."

"Sa mga taong di nagpaparamdam sa kanilang mga kaibigan e mabuting patayin nalang namin kayo para magparamdam kayo."

"minsan, pinipili mo lang kung sinong rereplyan mo..
pero naisip mo ba na pinipili rin nila kung sinong itetext nila?"

Facts

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb

 


Lazy Rule #19401957294710149: you're so lazy you didn't even finish reading the number


Funny But True

When A Boy Makes Mistake
Girl Shouts At Him
Boy Says ''Sorry''
...
When A Girl Makes Mistake
Boy Shouts At Her
Girl Starts Crying
Boy Says ''Sorry"

We are very good LAWYERS for our own mistakes,
but very good judges for the mistakes of others. 


Anger is a condition in which a tongue works faster than the mind.







“The smarter the woman
gets, the more difficult for
her to find the right man.”
-oprah




IMNOWHEREFORYOU
do u read it as,
im no where for you
or
im now here for you?
Like everything in life, the way you see things depends on how you look at them.

Soldiers do not march in step when going

across bridges because they could set up

vibration which could be sufficient to knock

the bridge down.

Myanmar Love Story

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called
"best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.

After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she were mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.

She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year

The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:

I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!

I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.

I Love You .

Jokes

DAD: (my hawak na 2 toys,
pnappili ang anak na lalake)c Barbie o Superman?
SON: Superman po.
DAD: MAGALING! (sabay alis)
SON: GWAPO MO TaLAGA
SUPERMAN, muah!Ü

Amo: Inday pakilatag naman
ng comforter sa kama. Magsisyesta ako.

(after 15 mins si inday pinagpapawisan) 

Inday: Koya nakalatag na po yung komporter sa kama.

Isinama ko na rin ang MAWS at
PRENTER.

JOSE: Tanungin mu aku ng English,

sasagutin kita ng Spanish…
RJ: What is more important?
Heart or mind?
JOSE: Spanish..=p

MGA PASOSYAL NA NAG-UUSAP

GIRL1: oh panO ka nakarating d2? Did u walk or did u ride?

GIRL2: xempre did u ride. Wat do u think of me? poverty? Oh cOmmOn. ^_^

my isang pusa
knausap ni juan..

JUAN: “muning, meow meow?”

PUSA: “meow meow!”

JUAN: “meow?”

NBI CLEARANCE APPLICANT:

sir, available na ba clearance ko?

NBI: follow-up mo na lang after 5 days, may kapangalan ka kasi e.

APPLICANT: ha?! Sino daw?!ö

Sa School

Student: Sir, baka naman po pwedeng mag re-Quiz?

Sir: sige anung song?

HAHAHAAHAH!